Not a turtle

The child sits out of the county fair bathroom wearing a shirt reading, "There Are Only Two Genders," in white print on black. For all the effort someone made in creating it, it might be Times New Roman. Such things are rarely haute couture or made of material intended to end up as hand-me-downs. Three washes and it will be indecipherable lint.

They are the sort of young and obese where gender characteristics are notional, compounding the irony of this loose shirt. I settle on them being male because they are next to a boy, and I can't imagine most girls that age would consent to wear something so stupidly tacky (and poorly designed) in private, to say nothing of in public around so many strangers of every age. Girls tend to be more image-conscious and feel they are the main characters on the stage sooner.

I don't fault the boy. He didn't buy that shirt--whatever money he has goes to Fortnite skins and Takis--let alone have the volition to espouse transphobia at a county fair when his actual interests are probably more Skibidi Toilet or some rapper whose name is preceded by "Lil." His parents--his father, let's be honest with ourselves--made this shirt happen. He wears it now because his father or uncle instilled in him the joy of being confrontational in so neutered a way. I understand, as I was once chastised by a middle school teacher for wearing a shirt reading, "It Must Suck to Be You," surely a back-to-school purchase from Spencer's Gifts. At least that sentiment was generalized and only an empty slogan, though that teacher took offense--more to the word "suck" than the message. Nowadays, I cannot fathom anyone noticing it. There are far more offensive comments to have across a tween's torso.

Looking at the boy, I cannot affirm he will one day be mortified dear dad made him do this. He might succumb more deeply to his parents' prejudices, doubling down because the intolerant are his people--though it is only because that is what their chosen media tells them; they don't actually care about gender expression, only the desire to trigger the libs. He may not stretch his wings enough to willingly spend time around a queer person. I would guess his involvement with most minorities so far is screaming slurs from the bed of his father's pickup, but that is unlikely and just to feed into the narrative I have built for this unfortunate boy.

He does have the terrified, inward demeanor that might prevent him from having much to do with women as he grows, but maybe he will polish up in a few years. I looked regrettable at that age, but my most embarrassing clothing hated on a purple dinosaur rather than other human beings.

Walking the fair, I see the occasional child with a rainbow on their shirt or some other queer accouterment. There are booths selling similar items and, at least at this event, none selling Confederate flags or items promising Trump will sodomize Harris--the former which I saw at another county's fair years ago. However, Biden was the president at the time. It did not yet occur to the vendors they might wish their idol to commit sexual violence against Harris. Perhaps even they have a clear line in the sand. Consider the optics.

The day after Amber and I visit, the local queer groups have an unofficial gathering. If hate groups also have meetings at the fair, or if any specifically come to harass the brightly colored teenagers, I do not know.

Why is it okay for a parent to buy their kid a "My other mom is gay" button, but I look askance at the transphobic shirt? Some people are naturally gender or sexually nonconforming; the former kid is expressing love and acceptance for other people, not aimless hatred. Transphobia Tot's shirt isn't espousing his fondness for some positive part of his community--even "Make America Great Again," for all its baggage, would qualify--just parroting some exclusionary thought-terminating cliche about the supposed enemy du jour. No one is born hateful, but people are born gay and transgender--I say this as someone to whom friends have confessed they would be cishet, if that was at all a possibility, for the emotional ease of it. One of my friends in college killed himself because he couldn't be straight or live longer in a world that hated him.

Never in my attendance of Pride events or Queer Board Games has it been about hating anyone, just community. I struggle to imagine transphobes getting together for contra dances. They only scream about cis athletes whose bodies produce too much testosterone and pretend the biggest issue in the world is trans people playing eighth-grade soccer. Again, they don't actually care. If they had not been exposed to the media they consume and asked to write down the ten most prominent issues facing this country, I cannot imagine anyone would have scribbled that down. However, there is money in rage and identity in being the subject of clickbait.

When Christine Jorgensen became the face of trans people in the 1950s, even right-wing talk show hosts invited her on for civil conversations. She had transitioned as best as one could in that era, and no one gathered the torches and pitchforks. What business was it to anyone, really? She was perhaps a curiosity, but no one considered her an existential threat. Now, sixty years later, she could be the bugbear for whichever show needed to fill the twenty-four-hour news cycle. How can it be that we have regressed in our opinion here, except that it is a cynical attempt to scapegoat so people don't focus on what actually matters? Politicians rob us blind while many demand to see lacrosse players' genitals.

I imagine even this Times New Roman Baby Bigot wouldn't wear a homophobic shirt. That prejudice is so dated as to be pase--surely he watches male game streamers who mention their boyfriends while chattering in that hyperactive Tiktok voice. That isn't to say he isn't also homophobic--American boys are reflexively resistant to anything that might threaten their perceived masculinity--but that he would refuse to wear it as a slogan so publicly. If he should have a son, perhaps that boy will likewise consider his dad's transphobia so beyond lame--though he might wear a shirt with prejudices of which we cannot yet conceive. Maybe we will circle back to demonizing those sinister left-handers.

last watched: Kaos
reading: Absolution