Jess and Rosie (being a lush)

As I wait outside Cabaloosa in New Paltz, my anxiety gradually increases. The neuroses in my head all gain individual voices, describing how this is the perfect combination of things I do not like and I ...

The sun is so bright and the air clean after the storm, but the light does not touch Jacki. While she is almost always dressed in a shade of darkness (if that isn't redundant), there is an inner luminescence that she exudes and which is currently absent. She doesn't even seem to be Jacki, just a Russian doll with my friend nestled tight inside. I hug her instinctively, the doll eyes closing and the scent of her doll hair on my face. I remember being like this, so far inside myself to hide from the catastrophe in front of ...

Hi, Stevehen Warren here. Are you having trouble with coming to terms with the recently dead? Does the idea of Armageddon bring you down? Well, you might want to start practicing the art of catching bullets with the back of your head because we're all going to die. Let's see how it's going to work. See this virus developed by the Germans; they make wicked good killing diseases, attacks the brain stem of the recently ...

Jess calls as I am on the way to Rosemary's housewarming party and says that we need to have a talk. This is a familiar trope now.

"A good talk?" I ask.

"Not a friendship ending one," she replies, apparently misunderstanding that I would only internalize the "friendship ending one" bit. "But I have some things I need to say to you and... I'm not good with words over the phone." Our prior conversation was fruitful, especially since I carefully ...

Melanie has a theory that I am going to have to struggle a little more in every other aspect in my life to balance out how lucky I am to have found her and fallen into such a nutritive love. It's sweet and I don't disagree. It's a pleasant mantra to keep in mind on days like today.

It's odd being downsized because you are keenly aware that you've done nothing wrong beyond work for a company that never saw you as more than an interchangeable part. At first, they try to blame me, to say my ...

Sitting in the den of Jess's house, my stomach full of fried chicken, corn on the cob, biscuits, and salad that her friend Loren made simply for the pleasure of cooking for us, I feel more content than I have in a long while, at least since Melanie left for the summer. Loren and Jess bring down a cake to celebrate Jess's mother birthday. The moment freezes for me. Everyone is happy, even Finn who the Icy-Hot pack on his back that he describes as "being crawled on by slugs" and Rosie who twisted a muscle in her neck and has a hot water bottle ...

Jess slides her hands around me in the dark. Our faces are so close that I can see her clearly, the light of the kitchen behind us glimmering off her glasses. She touches the chain around my neck and then slides the clasp to the back. "Melanie's thinking of you!" she says brightly.

I breathe again. "Actually, I hope she isn't right now. She has a seventeen hour flight ahead of her to Kyoto, so I hope she is passed out. She is welcome to be ...

(Before beginning this entry, I should note that I am not upset with anyone described below, even if you think I ought to be. However, in confronting my issues as I must, these situations should be described.)

Melanie had warned me, upon seeing a picture of Jess, that I had better keep a "tongue length" away from my new friend, ostensibly owning to her resemblance to my celebrity crush, Felicia Day. When I tell Jess this, she laughs and ...

We meet again to make good on the promise of Infinite Fries. While I don't hunger for the mélange of salt and fat that is about to be coursing through my veins, I am ravenous to know more about Jess, to further justify why I like her so well and consider her a good friend despite having spent a single hour in her presence.

"How are you holding up with Melanie gone?" she asks as we sit down. I hesitate for a moment, trying to recall if I had mentioned Melanie's exodus to her. But I must have, as an explanation for why I had been seeking companyÂ… unless she has ...

I want everybody to take seat and get comfortable. Sometimes this section of Xenex tends to lean towards the humorous, but not today. This is super serious, people. It's like Wailing Caverns multiplied by a dozen. When humanity falls, this information will remain on the lips of shamans who will whisper it into the ears of children before trussing them up towards the stars to be baptized by Thor's mighty ...

Prepare yourself for the prequel to end all prequels. I blame comic books. Technically, the idea of an Aliens/Predator crossover came from Dark Horse. You see, kids, when the idea of making a bucket load of money comes into playÂ… well, adults tend to put out crazy ideas. Let's make Freddy vs. Jason. Batman and Superman should be in a movie ...

I've mentally rehearsed how we'll part a dozen times before I've pulled into the parking lot of Thai House in Hyde Park. I don't care to speculate as to the content of our dinner conversation or anything except the moment she leaves. I'll pull Hannah against me, whisper that we love and tell her to come back to us. I will give her a single, utterly chaste kiss and then we will go our separate directions. Perhaps the wind will pick up slightly and, if there happens to be music, it would swell. These are the fantasies we get when we are raised on ...

Yeah, well, your higgs boson gives me a large hadron.

But no. In the Buffyverse, you have to drink from your sire before dying or you don't resurrect. Yes, I am a dork for quibbling. Then again, why is this filed under "Heart Conditions"? Is someone being clever?

...I am pretty sure my interests do not include cultural abortions or MySpace, but I repeat myself. Justine, if you are going to stumble your MySpace, at least make sure it isn't horrendous.

Yes, seriously, I have stumbled this site dozens of time in the last two days. Don't submit every page to StumbleUpon, spammers.

I went to college with Matt. Odd guy, stole all his forked from the SUNY New Paltz dining hall for a long time. My friends who lived in his dorm said he always smelled like soup.

Did you forget the truth that people will think you are a pretentious jerkface for regurgitating things normal people learned from posters in kindergarten? I like it better with the big-eyed cat telling me these axioms.

No, no, I just have something in my eyes. No worries the copious tears because that was so sweet have washed it out.

Say "atheism". It is what you mean. Otherwise, your office is going to be buried under crystals and sage smoke while a chubby woman named Rowan chants at you under her breath.

I graduated from Beacon High School. It is not small and they had girls on the football team in 1997 without any concern, so I think their specific example is intentionally contrived. While most people wouldn't realize, I think it weakens a completely valid case by exaggerating.

Wait, New Kids on the Block is still around? How?