I am a drunk?

My English 101 course is a trial, is pulling teeth, is a crucible. Half the students at my facility withdrew. Of those who remained, half failed. I am not sorry for this. They were not ready. Try again in a year when you can take this more seriously.

The college courses we offer are usually their first exposure to academic rigor. My 101 is ultimately not challenging, though they do not see it this way. It would be easier still if they wrote their college application essays rather than having them "massaged" by staff members. One admitted he not only hadn't written a word of it, but he hadn't read it and had no idea what it said. Given that he struggled to apply phonics rules to unfamiliar yet simple words, he could not begin to be ready to engage the class on its terms and hated every minute. When I dragged him to a transferrable C--though he was only transferring to adult corrections for the next twenty-five years--I was exultant. He was furious it wasn't an A. My students do not accept their best might still be a D that, through four revisions of each piece, might get to a C.

On the first day of class, I give them every file and assignment they need to complete for the course, aside from peer and teacher reviews. There are videos explaining every topic. I have had students look at this glut and ask why they couldn't just do all the work at once to be done. When I told two of them that nothing stopped them from doing that, they completed my three-month class in three weeks and thought they were clever for putting one over on ol' Professor Quackenbush.

English 102 is mine. I teach them literary criticism and finally get to be intelligent myself. I tell them I want exegesis, not eisegesis, out of them. I have them break down stories and poems I love (and a number to I am indifferent but which are on other syllabi and are useful to teach what I wish).

It is my first time teaching this. I spent forty hours prepping, though my students state they have no interest in the audio versions I downloaded or created for them since no one has had the good sense to record all my stories.

My job so often requires a warm body and little else. I had a resident who might have been a diagnosable genius, but it is otherwise rare felonious minors have been given other than social graduation. 102 allows me to have a learning community rather than dragging rote answers from screaming boys after five prompts.

I cannot swear my students appreciate it, though an oppositional one whom I warned this would be a reading and writing intensive course said yesterday that he might like it. That felt like a success, though I want to be on the side as they work together. I do not want to spoon-feed or hold hands.

I had my students read a story I wrote, Adam, the First Man," because it is rich fodder for feminist, queer, and ecological criticism. One student opted for a psychological interpretation and called me a drunk. I gave him full credit, as his citations were convincing. Maybe I am, though I cumulatively drink a glass of alcohol a year. Students get credit for making me laugh.

last watched: Resident Alien
reading: This Is How You Lose the Time War