My writing? Stellar. My handwriting? Maybe not.

A friend, hearing the struggles I am having with my job, mentioned that she could recommend me for a gig writing for the site that employs her. She sends them a few of the articles I've written (this and this were included). They are interested enough to pursue me, which is among the first times I recall that happening within the publishing world.

They could not hire me outright, not without a test of my abilities. It is all well and good that I was able to write a few pieces for Juvenile Justice: a Reference Handbook and Arc Digital, but could I produce what they were looking for? Specifically, an article about child stars who lost all their money?

What should have been a week of writing an article rapidly turns into two because I am learning the ropes. My editor is tolerant because my writing is quality, but my formatting and adherence to their style guide is only developing. I have to scrap a slide because I made the rookie mistake of assuming an actress who had become a homeless heroin addict was actually poor when, the deeper I dug, it seemed more than she was the tenant from Hell.

Finally, my article was accepted at a generous word rate.

The entire process had filled me with an anxiety most akin to feeling that I am going to do something wrong and I will be in trouble when I am caught. The worst that could happen is that they won't accept my article or pay me, but it feels larger. I didn't like how it cut into my writing time for my other projects. Only this piece, even if it is not my preferred subject, will be read by more than most things I have written and pays more than two times better than the last piece I sold. It has earned me more than some years of royalties from my books (before that publisher gave up). This gig promises to be ongoing, so much so that my editor said they expected me to be working on new articles every week.

The work is not challenging except that my instinct is to over research, for which I am sure the site's lawyers are pleased. It shifts libel onto the shoulders of those I am quoting. It is time-consuming, but also a matter of cost/benefit. I will be well paid for these articles. At present, the same cannot as much be said for my books. I enjoy the detective aspect of research. It also isn't as though the research is single use; this knowledge and these notes can be used other places in the future, assuming they are subjects I would care to revisit. Though, ideally, I would land upon subjects for which additional research would be slight. I am an expert of subject that are esoteric and rife with the potential to be entertaining. I do use these as the foundation of my panels.

I don't have imposter syndrome. I don't have time for that. Too much writing to do. I acknowledge that a regular paid gig underscores that I am a real writer, though it helps that I don't need the money as long as I have a day job. I don't have to be as scrappy. If nothing seems as though it will be fun for me, I can check back in a few days without worring I will starve.

This gig would have vastly improved my life a decade ago, when I was substitute teaching and desperate for cash to survive from month to month. But I was not the man who could have managed this gig. I worry I was not writer enough to get hired, if only because I did not have enough published non-fiction pieces. I see this gig not merely for itself but how it gives me further clout. When I again submit a book, writing for this company could tip the scales. Maybe the right set of eyes will fall upon my work and I won't have to fight so hard. Maybe I will start selling more books because of this. If not, the added hundreds or thousands in my bank account will help motivate me -- or at least give me more funds that can be reinvested in this aspect of my career.

Though I am going to do my best not to write about the travails of Leif Garrett again.

last watched: Captain America: The First Avenger
reading: Lolita: The Annotated Edition