Giving my student a glowing report card

Among the reasons I have been working to save my facility -- aside from that closing it will ruin my students' lives -- is that I wish to remain relatively close to my family. (Another facility may be tiptoeing around recruiting me, but that would not best serve my potential future students or me.)

As if noticing the wish, the ironic universe conspired to give my brother Dan a tempting offer. His company is opening a new factory in Texas and asked that he and his wife Becky be at the helm. It could be the culmination of this journey, from joining the company in his twenties, meeting his wife there, then quitting after not getting a raise for inventing a device that saved them a million dollars per conveyor belt per factory. He used that severance package to begin his own tech company, which shifted forms a few times before becoming dedicated to industrial automation for some big-name players. He and Becky transitioned back to working for the original company at a higher salary with more respect, having exceedingly proved their worth.

He is likely moving, bringing his brood with him. I will go from seeing my niblings several times a year--birthdays at Chuck E Cheese, apple picking, Easter, Thanksgiving, Superbowl, vacation--to rarely. I doubt he will care much for returning to the Hudson Valley come Christmas, to say nothing of lesser holidays. My niece Yannah has independently established herself here with her boyfriend, so I cannot fathom her moving with them. Another, Leelee, goes to a college in Massachusetts. As it is a highly regarded performing arts college for which her parents are paying through the nose, why would she transfer to Texas U? The rest are too young to make a different decision and, of course, have no means to.

Dan hates the snow, and, though my mother says he also hates the heat, the Hudson Valley has worn out its welcome with him. I'm skeptical he would even come on vacation. Why go to the trouble of visiting New York more than he must? Why take the expense to fly everyone to spend a week in Lake George (or whatever other locale I try to convince my family they want to visit) when he could spend that money bringing his kids somewhere perhaps more exciting than a glacial lake?

A large part of my mother's life is caring for her grandchildren. She has a room in her humble home dedicated to their use. In short, she will take this harder than I will since these children are a regular part of her week. If he were moving to North Carolina, she says, she would move with him, but she is not uprooting her life in her sixties for the Lone Star State. Also, it should be mentioned, he has not asked her to. That won't change.

It has already been too tumultuous of a year, though built on the back of what 2020 wrought. I didn't anticipate that flipping a calendar page would heal all wounds, but I did not expect these complications.

I don't only want to see my niblings grow up on social media. Amber has a special relationship with the youngest, Addie. It will slice her to have that strained. Though Addie is pesky on Snapchat, it isn't the same as our niece dragging her from room to room to show her toys. I don't know that Addie will be too aware of the absence, but Amber will feel the loss of surety that Addie remembers how much she loves her aunt.

I admit that Dan does not have much holding him in New York beyond his friends and family. That may sound glib, but it isn't. He has his wife and four youngest kids. In Texas, he will join the local CrossFit community and will have friends anew within a month. This new opportunity, surely offered at a premium, was handed to them in specific. Why wouldn't he want to explore it? Why spend his whole life penned in by the same mountains? I don't know that I would have the courage to leave everything so far behind. I don't even want to move if my facility closes, though no state job would afford better work, community, locale, pay, or prestige. Dan and Becky will get most of these with one jot.

This is a blow to me, one whose dimensions I am sure I am far from knowing. To my brother, it is an overdue shakeup. Beyond the change in climate, literal and otherwise, I stand sure that this will better fill his bank account. He may rightly hate the snow, but he would need a better paycheck to make so drastic a leap.

He is less sentimental than I am, which could be an asset. I have stuck around draining situations because "my people" were there and would not budge. The only time I recall having been offered such a potential opportunity was writing for a financial site in Washington DC. Beyond that, there was a school offering me a pittance without any benefits (and with the threat that I would have to pay rent to live on campus in a tiny apartment with a shared bathroom), which wasn't as far but also not worth the sacrifice. I have not sought other opportunities, and none have been presented to me on a platter because of my overwhelming skill.

I tell Amber that I wish we had some farmhouse to entertain a few of the niblings in the summer, but we have an apartment about large enough for two. I am sure my parents will offer to take the children for a week or two, but I don't expect that offer will be accepted often. In short, Dan leaving means that I will have to find different ways to keep my niblings in my life. My relationship with my brother, existing as it often does via text and social media, will not be too severely harmed, but he has long been raised and shaped; he will not be changed by absence from me. My nephew Aydan, who says I am like his second father, is another story. I don't want to miss out on him getting to high school and becoming the man he will be. I acknowledge that I am not a constant in their lives anyway, but I am at least in their lives. But I have no standing here to object.

I think this could be a good thing for Dan, a new experience and fresh life. In his shoes, I don't know that I would stick around long. He may not go, though I find the possibility of that smaller than that he will be packed and ready within a few months. I get most of this information secondhand through my mother, but he has jokingly confirmed that it is true.

last watched: Captain America: The First Avenger
reading: Lolita: The Annotated Edition