Author and Columnist
Mabius originally found me about five years ago. I was probably 15.
I do not know how to class this woman -- her actual name escapes me, and I am not sorry for that -- beyond an abuser. I am not sure that the friend from whom she got your number ever contacted you. It may only ever have been Mabius catfishing you. I assume her goal was to have sex with you, hoping you were someone young enough to control.
She was yet another person using her connection to Paganism to try to find a victim.
She seemed, to the 15-year-old brain, relatively knowledgeable, save a few glaringly obvious outbursts
Yes, because fifteen-year-olds are not pillars of knowledge by dint of having thumbed through the occult section of Waldenbooks.
Likewise, twenty-somethings are not gurus because they have thumbed through it twice.
I think it was mostly that she was convincing me, on one plane or another, that she had some kind of special knowledge.
You know, like an abuser.
She tried to claim she was a part of my past lives.
It is all so textbook to me, but you may have been too optimistic about others' intentions, then blessed by a lack of psych classes and manipulative people.
We actually met in person after it all. I recognized her the instant she stepped off the train, bedecked all in black and dripping with pentacles and spider webs. I was not trapped in them.
I will grant you that when someone immediately makes you uneasy in person, you are unambiguous and do not forgive it. Over the phone, you gave her too much of the benefit of the doubt. In person, your limbic system knows a predator.
She said that I was just a boy playing man. I shot back to her that I was playing nothing and I was real.
You played plenty. Do you know why? Because you were a child. Sorry for teenagers reading this, but you get to be childish for a few more years. You get to experiment with your identity. You behaved no differently than someone your age should. She meant to neg you into arguing that you were mature enough to do whatever she wanted.
You had let Sky pressure you using similar logic, but Sky had the excuse that she was your age and had been misused enough that she perpetuated it.
She sat and wrote a letter to me on the curb. I took it from her and ripped it up.
Gods, writing a letter in front of someone is a melodramatic thing.
I do not at all fault you for ripping it up. If you allowed her to guilt you, she would have persisted. The only thing you could do was slam that door in her face.
I went home and did my first cleansing ritual ever, using Noxzema face wash.
I vividly remember this shower. I had used it for decades because of this.
Being near her made you feel beyond dirty and bordered on a panic attack.
I was with Kate at the time and she [Kate] refused to ever shake Mabius's hand. I believe Kate even hissed at her.
Did Kate? I can't picture it, but she may have.
She opened her mouth to speak. I shot a look at her and cut her off in a voice that originated three feet behind my neck, "I know who you are." She stuttered something about our jewelry and getting back to work and left.
I have no idea why Mabius ever attempted to speak to you again. As far as I recall, you couldn't have been clearer had you sprayed her with a firehose.
Mabius won't be the last abuser you encounter, particularly on your spiritual path. I cannot remember enough about her to skim the internet and social media to see what became of her. I suppose I will assume she learned her lesson and kept away from children, but I cannot confidently assume it.
She informed us Sunday night that, if business does not pick up this upcoming weekend, we couldn't both work.
She would have chosen Emily. It wouldn't have made sense to employ you when Emily lived closer.
What would have become of you then? You would still need a job. What would you have done? Where would that have taken you?
But Rosaliza did continue employing you both, even though you never made it worth her money.
On Sunday, a blonde girl I will call Princess (that was her garb) went by the booth about seven times.
I remember Princess. You gave her your AIM name -- why did you do this? -- and she grew tired of talking to you outside the romance of ren faire trappings.
I don't get why we get hit on so much at the faire. The same thing happens at the Haunted Mansion, even when I have fake blood dripped from my every facial orifice and I am pretending to eat insects.
It is because you are a part of a heightened recreational experience where emotions grow extreme. You become a character in the fantasy.
Alison and Zanna had both ranted to her about what a terrible person I am.
Speaking of heightened recreational experiences, they enjoy the drama of having an enemy. I do not think it is personal. The worst Alison could say about you is you were a poor boyfriend when you were sixteen (fair). The worst Wren could say might be that you didn't understand he is trans, though you didn't treat him as though he were cis. He was having a tough time coming to terms with who he was and would have reveled in the pile-on.
That said, you considered Alison one of your friends. You liked Wren, but he seemed an accessory to Alison; you did not have an independent friendship. It hurt you that Alison had picked you for the repository of her drama.
Katelynn didn't reveal too much, just that she felt that Zanna was better off before she took Alison as an idol
I do not recall their friendship being healthy (but not abusive by any measure; just adolescent), but I also do not think it lasted much beyond Wren getting out of Cold Spring and meeting more complementary company.
When Wren could fulfill his destiny of being a reincarnated Oscar Wilde, what use was Alison to him?
and that she didn't believe what she was told about me (not surprisingly).
What would that be, though? There is no sense in dropping this without stating the accusations.
We had a brief discourse over the sketchiness of having an invisible friend and contrived multiple personalities of whose actions you feel you are not responsible for, as Zanna claims.
Wren is struggling with his identity at this point. He is a brilliant young man who grew up in a repressive town, something that his private school education in the latter half of his secondary career did not improve enough.
Also, he still bears a grudge against you for your dalliance with Nancy, his feelings for whom were unclear.
So, though it is a bit late for the caution, try to sympathize with him, even if he is being by-proxy rude to you.
I am simply stating that their behavior is immature in my eyes and I would hope they would cease acting like dither-brained high school freshmen whose lives are evidently so boring that said freshmen must make up a fictional world that is against them and arbitrarily hate and hurt other people because their social bond is based on artificiality.
You are needlessly catty. It does not mean that you are wrong, only that your defensiveness is not convincing to your readers. Learn better how to phrase things and employ some perspective.
You are not acting markedly more mature.
So we ended up back at Melissa's house watching The Family Guy, one of the best shows too few people watch.
Of all the embarrassing things you've ever written...