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Definitely a welcome surprise after not hearing her voice for a few days, as she has been visiting her brother over break.
Ah, the inconsistency of the adolescent brain and heart. Eleven days prior, you were deep in angst about your relationship. As though that hadn't happened, not speaking to her has made you into a puppy.
It is borderline enviable that you can feel these things so intensely. As you age, things tend to modulate down. You know that your lover will be in contact soon. You know that every doldrum does not mean that the relationship is headed for the rocks soon. You can allow yourself the luxury of perspective and object permanence.
I was watching the movie "American Pie" and it actually made me miss her more, which is sad on numerous levels.
Ah, the associative egocentrism. Everything, for a precious almost-decade, gets to be about you. Every song on the radio is a message, every movie is cribbed from your life. You are important and noticed.
A nineteen-year-old man in America is the target demographic for much media. One can hardly be blamed for taking it personally.
Apologizing once more, she explained that she was just getting over a cold and was getting her lunch break soon. I told her that that was very good, and some food and a bit of medicine from CVS would make her feel a lot better. Only after I was in some heavily perfumed collectibles store across the way did it occur to me that CT was asking me to go to lunch with her.
I'm rating this a hard "maybe." You could, in retrospect, have been reading this situation right. In CT's shoes, this is how you might have dropped the hint, especially while engaging in lengthy conversation with a customer.
But you might not be. She could have been completing a sale while behaving like a human being. Either way, you are telling your girlfriend this with the subtext of remember that I am desirable and appreciate that I am also faithful, because I have options.
Now, I would likely go to lunch with her for the conversation. Befriending someone isn't cheating.
Plus, I was thinking, while I enjoy Zoey's company, I don't really know his intentions toward me. And I really do not feel like being lusted after. Only loved.
I suspect that Zoey's intentions for you were not as erotic as you are imagining. The only there might have been more than friendly flirtation was when he belt out RENT at you. You stutter stepped and, for half a second, questioned your sexuality.
Music is your button.
I am the first one to genuinely love Kate and, honestly, I think she is the first person who has genuinely loved me.
Kate had dated one person before, an erratic girl whom you stole away without knowing she was Kate's girlfriend. Kate did not have much opportunity to love someone else yet.
But, yes, this was the closest thing to love you had experienced.
I don't think Coley loved me. She worshipped me.
I don't know how Coley felt about you. I do know that I regret still having not been better to her, so I would not discount that she loved you and you loved her. You just didn't do it at the right moment. Had you met a little later, Coley might have ranked as one of your great loves. I can't imagine that she would have been less than she was in your life. She was and is a wonderful person and you were not a boyfriend worthy of that for her. To other, prior girls, you were a worse boyfriend. I cannot find myself regretting them as I regret Coley.
Had Coley been more important in your life, there would not have been Kate. Having her in your life was, for the most part, delightful. I cannot fathom where you would have otherwise ended up. You might not have gone to New Paltz, meaning that you never meet Emily. So much of your life was then contingent on who was in your bed and where they brought you.
There are these branching paths and, except in memory and speculation, we cannot visit them.