Thomm Quackenbush, author

Angela

She is a sharp and funny woman, though she spend a considerable amount of time convincing rubes that they need furniture for her generous and deserved commission. She graduated from Bard with a major in Art with a minor in Sapphic Studies. She is considering spending much more money to further her education by getting a Master's in teaching art, but only for the show of it. Useful degrees are like wolfsbane to her.

She possessed Benson, the Dog-Bunny.

She doesn't like to admit it, but she is so Melissa's bitch. Xen's mother intimates that Melissa and Angela are having conjugal relations. She is not alone in suggesting or assuming this.

Angela was born an ugly duckling in a jerkwater burg of New York with the ironic name of Hopewell. Enduring the teasing of her peers for much of her childhood and adolescence owning to a disabled brother, she grew older and stronger. She also grew a mop of very curly hair. Once day, quite by accident, she looked down at a puddle of floor cleaner at the A&P and saw reflected in it one of the coolest people God ever deigned to put on this earth. From there, like some righteous Tom Robbins character, she began painting forth her soul and fighting crime in her spare time.

Xen may have taken a few liberties in this description.

For no good reason, Angela is jealous of Dives Dives. Angela is obviously much, much cooler.



Known Aliases: Angie, The Jew (even though we love all of our children equally)

Birthday: September 11, 1979 (Yes, we feel bad for her too)

Zodiac: Virgo

Height: *Pending*

Eyes: Brown if Xen's photo's are to be trusted

Hair: Like the wool used to make Zack's El Dorado blankie.

Spiritual Path/Religion: Wandering Jew

Role: Melissa's concubine/Taco Bell solicitor

Origin in Xen's Story: She was adopted by Melissa while they both worked at the A&P.

Quotes: "There's a Simpsons' quote for every occasion, even a suicide attempt."

Divine Dominion Over: Peanut butter pie

Best advice: "Make sure you hit it before you hit it."

Future Profession: Starving artist/salesgirl

Current Profession: Retail furniture

Best Quality: Her ability to find psychotic pets.

Weakness: Bacon, Atkin's, Crunchwrap Surpremes, Peanut Butter Pie

Superpower: Have you seen her hair?



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